{"id":19683,"date":"2026-03-11T08:05:13","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:05:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/guideposts.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/for-phil-mickelson-family-comes-first\/"},"modified":"2026-07-13T22:58:29","modified_gmt":"2026-07-14T02:58:29","slug":"for-phil-mickelson-family-comes-first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/guideposts.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/family\/for-phil-mickelson-family-comes-first\/","title":{"rendered":"For Phil Mickelson, Family Comes First"},"content":{"rendered":"

To celebrate Phil Mickelson\u2019s thrilling comeback victory in the 2013 British Open\u2014he came from five back at the beginning of play on the tourney\u2019s final day to win by three strokes\u2014we bring you this Guideposts Classic, in which Mickelson recalls the occasion in 1999 when he resolved that golf would take second place to his responsibilities as a husband and father.<\/em><\/p>\n

My caddie slid the black pager into his pocket. It was one of those models that vibrate, like the type the hostess sometimes gives you when you\u2019re waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant. Only one person\u2014my wife, Amy\u2014knew the code.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf that pager goes off, you tell me,\u201d I instructed my caddie as we walked from the practice range through the crowd to the first hole.<\/p>\n

I was about to tee off at North Carolina\u2019s Pinehurst Golf Club in the final round of the 1999 U.S. Open, one of golf\u2019s most prestigious tournaments. I had never won the Open\u2014had never won any of golf\u2019s four major events\u2014though I had come tantalizingly close. Now I trailed by a stroke.<\/p>\n

But a message on the pager would mean just one thing: Amy had gone into labor with our first child. I was determined to fly back to Arizona to be with her. In fact, I had a private jet standing by.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf she calls,\u201d I said to the caddie as he handed me my driver, \u201cI\u2019m out of here. I don\u2019t care if I\u2019m on the fourteenth hole with a five-stroke lead.\u201d<\/p>\n

My caddie looked at me like I was nuts. Payne Stewart, who was in first place and with whom I was paired that day, shook his head. They didn\u2019t understand what this baby meant to Amy and me. More than golf. More than anything.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d been trying to have a child for three years. Doctors told us we might not be able to. Family was everything to Amy and me. We were both brought up to believe that raising children would be the most important work of our lives.<\/p>\n

We married in 1996 and honeymooned in Hawaii. We lolled on the beach, imagining the size of our future family. We had a small difference of opinion.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want two kids,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m hoping for at least eight,\u201d Amy said. She grew up in Provo, Utah, on a cul-de-sac with eight houses\u2014and 45 kids. Three were her siblings. \u201cI\u2019m just used to having a lot of children around,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

We compromised that day. We decided to stop at three. Well, maybe four.<\/p>\n

If only.<\/p>\n

Over the next couple of years we tried and prayed, tried and prayed some more. Sometimes I\u2019d watch Amy while she slept and think, Lord, can\u2019t you see what a wonderful mother she\u2019d make?<\/em><\/p>\n

After three years we had just about given up. Though we loved each other as much as two people could, we felt somehow incomplete. We talked about adoption. \u201cI want a child so badly,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

That winter we returned to Hawaii for a friend\u2019s wedding. Maybe it was something in the sultry, tropical air, but not long after, Amy shared the biggest news of our lives. She was pregnant at last.<\/p>\n

Amy and I read every baby book we could find. We wanted to be ready for anything and everything. We knew from tests that our baby would be a girl. We decided to name her Amanda.<\/p>\n

I went back on the road, back to the professional golf tour. Amy traveled with me much of the time, but the weeks apart were difficult. I\u2019d call at night after finishing a round. \u201cI felt Amanda kicking today,\u201d she\u2019d say. \u201cIt felt like someone was playing the bass drum inside me.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Afterward, I\u2019d sit back on my hotel bed and think of my own parents and how they raised my brother and sister and me. They were always there for us. Mostly, they taught us that goodness comes to those who work hard and have strong values, and that\u2019s what families are for. To instill those values.<\/p>\n

Dad was very patient with us; never got upset, never yelled. He managed our Little League and soccer teams. He was a good teacher. He\u2019d show us a skill\u2014catching a ball, solving a math problem\u2014and then give us time to learn it. He was always willing to help, but only after he knew we\u2019d done everything to help ourselves.<\/p>\n

My mom was very competitive. She was captain of her high school basketball team. She loved to win, and for her children to win. But it was never everything to her. Doing your best and doing what\u2019s right always came first.<\/p>\n

Most of all, I watched how my parents treated each other. They never argued in front of us, and were always supportive. My siblings and I knew how much they loved us, and each other. \u201cI just want to follow their example,\u201d I told Amy. \u201cI want to do for our children what my parents did for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

We already knew Amanda\u2019s due date: about two weeks after the U.S. Open.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if she comes early?\u201d Amy asked.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny. When I was still in college, a great golfer named Larry Mize made headlines when he announced he was skipping the Masters\u2014another of golf\u2019s major tournaments\u2014so as not to miss the birth of his child.<\/p>\n

I remember shaking my head and thinking, It\u2019s the Masters, man, what are you doing?<\/em> It wasn\u2019t until Amy finally got pregnant that I was able to understand Larry\u2019s feelings. Totally.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, I\u2019ll do exactly what Larry did,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

The day before I was to leave Arizona for the Open, Amy and I went to see her doctor. \u201cNothing to worry about,\u201d he assured me. \u201cGet on the plane.\u201d But looking at Amy\u2019s swollen belly, I didn\u2019t find it so easy.<\/p>\n

\u201cAmanda and I will wait for you,\u201d Amy promised.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to come home with the U.S. Open trophy, we\u2019re going to have the baby and it\u2019s going to be the best week of our lives,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m not leaving you like this just so I can finish in the top ten.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had a reputation as one of the world\u2019s greatest golfers. But I had another reputation too, a not so great one. The media called me the best player who had never won one of the sport\u2019s major events.<\/p>\n

I knew a lot of great players had gone far longer without winning a big one. I was still young and had plenty of time. But it was getting to me, all the talk every time I got within striking distance of one of those titles. I wanted to put that criticism to rest.<\/p>\n

During the first three days of the four-round U.S. Open, I had let nothing interfere with my golf. Nights were another story. I shared a house with Fred Couples, another top golfer, and our caddies. We would watch a game on TV, then Fred would go to bed and I\u2019d call Amy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m doing fine, Phil,\u201d she kept saying.<\/p>\n

At the end of the third round, I was just one stroke off the lead. I felt great. What I didn\u2019t know\u2014what Amy didn\u2019t tell me\u2014was that after we talked that night she went to the hospital. The baby, it seemed, was on the way. But Amy was so selfless, she didn\u2019t want me to leave the tournament.<\/p>\n

She told her doctor, \u201cI want to wait for Phil. Please give me something to slow the contractions.\u201d It worked. She was home Sunday, ready to watch me, oblivious to what was going on back in Arizona, go for the win on TV.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I stepped to the first tee. Payne and my caddie looked on. The pager made a little bulge in my caddie\u2019s pocket. I half wondered if I\u2019d be able to see it vibrate.<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath and flushed everything but golf from my mind. I addressed the ball and boomed a long drive straight down the fairway. I was off to a good round.<\/p>\n

So was Payne. The whole way we played neck and neck. On the sixteenth hole Payne made a long, winding 25-footer. Payne and I were tied. He birdied the seventeenth to pull ahead and sank an improbable 18-foot putt to clinch the win on the final hole. The crowd roared and I tipped my hat to Payne.<\/p>\n

Payne walked over and hugged me. \u201cBeing a father is greater than anything you can imagine, Phil,\u201d he said. \u201cGreater than this. I\u2019m so happy for you and Amy.\u201d<\/p>\n

That night I was on the plane, headed home to Arizona. I found myself thinking about Larry Mize. Back then nothing was more important to me than winning. I was like my mom, but without her healthy perspective. Then I fell in love with Amy and it changed me.<\/p>\n

Thank you, God, for giving Amy to me, and for the baby you are about to give us.<\/em> I didn\u2019t think another minute about my loss.<\/p>\n

Fans still remember that final round of the 1999 U.S. Open. They\u2019ll come up to me and say, \u201cIf only Payne\u2019s putt had rimmed out, you would have tied and gone into a playoff. You could have won.\u201d<\/p>\n

I have to smile. Amy gave birth to our daughter Amanda the next day, the day our playoff would have been held. Heck, I would have packed up my clubs the minute the pager went off. Payne would have won anyway!<\/p>\n

And God knows, I won something much bigger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To celebrate Phil Mickelson\u2019s thrilling comeback victory in the 2013 British Open\u2014he came from five back at the beginning of play on the tourney\u2019s final day to win by three strokes\u2014we bring you this Guideposts Classic, in which Mickelson recalls the occasion in 1999 when he resolved that golf would take second place to his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28513,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":"","_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_bluesky_share_type":"","_mastodon_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[222],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1427],"class_list":["post-19683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFor Phil Mickelson, Family Comes First - 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