To our left, the Santa Lucia Mountains jutted into the cornflower blue western sky.<\/p>\n
To our right, the Pinnacles Mountains rose likewise into the cloudless east.<\/p>\n
And rushing alongside our tour bus windows in a blur of emerald, teal, mint and kelly green was the verdant flat patchwork quilt of California\u2019s Salinas Valley.<\/p>\n
The tour guide\u2019s microphone crackled with upbeat commentary.<\/p>\n
\u201cNestled between two mountain ranges, the Salinas Valley offers the perfect soil and climate for lettuce, asparagus, cabbage, tomatoes, carrots, kale, broccoli, and grapes,\u201d he said. \u201cWe call it America\u2019s salad bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tourists on the bus chuckled.<\/p>\n
Not me. I reached for a tissue to dab my eyes and blow my nose. Sitting next to me, my husband, Tom, rolled his eyes as if to say, \u201cHere we go again.\u201d In a gesture of understanding, he reached for my hand. But I pulled away, and glumly turned my face to the window.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d read about empty nest syndrome in magazines, listened to older friends talk about it, but never had experienced it first-hand. Until now.<\/p>\n
Only two months earlier, Tom and I had said goodbye to our son and daughter as they went off to college. But it felt like two years had passed.<\/p>\n
Although the hot California sun blazed in the autumn sky and the tour guide told us that it was a seasonable 82 degrees outside, a cold lonely wind swept through my heart.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t that I had too much time on my hands. With two hefty tuitions to pay, I was working harder than ever. Instead of feeling down in the dumps, I should be grateful and happy for the opportunity to join Tom on his business trip to California.<\/p>\n
After all, wasn\u2019t this exactly the sort of grown-up vacation getaway we had dreamt of for so many years?<\/p>\n
I pressed my forehead harder against the cold glass window, and vivid memories rushed through my mind, fast as the passing scenery\u2026<\/p>\n
Lullabies\u2026 bedtime prayers\u2026 birthday parties\u2026 Christmas mornings\u2026 hamsters\u2026 tricycles\u2026 training wheels\u2026 skinned knees\u2026 more hamsters!\u2026 lemonade stands\u2026 ballet recitals\u2026 piano lessons\u2026 science projects\u2026 slumber parties\u2026 first dates\u2026 driving lessons\u2026 high school proms\u2026 graduations\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Each tender memory was like a little death, each deserving its own time for grieving. But it was too much loss to process. Too much change, too fast!<\/p>\n I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that Katy and Brinck were not only where they wanted to be, but where they should<\/em> be.<\/p>\n This was a happy, exciting time in their young lives, a season of new discoveries, challenges and growth. Their new school communities provided safe places where they could try their wings and soar.<\/p>\n But I didn\u2019t want to let go!<\/em> I missed not being involved in the intimate day-to-day details of my children\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n Now, it somehow didn\u2019t feel right not knowing what they\u2019d had for breakfast, if they were dressed warmly enough, what books they were reading, what friends they were with, what recent experience had caused them to think more deeply, or laugh, or\u2014perish the thought\u2014cry.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s face it. I didn\u2019t like the fact I no longer had control over these things. I tried to chase away anxious thoughts of the poor decisions and mistakes they might make\u2014all part of being human and growing up\u2014but painful nonetheless.<\/p>\n Please God, keep our children safe. Help their mistakes be learning experiences\u2014the kind of lessons-learned that ultimately serve to strengthen and build character\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n And who was this stranger sitting next to me? Without the daily details of our children\u2019s lives to discuss, what exactly was our marriage supposed to be about? I think what scared me even more than life apart from our kids was the unknown prospect of our new empty-nest life together.<\/p>\n It\u2019s as though our children are off dancing on the mountaintops<\/em>, I thought. While Tom and I are left behind, stuck in the valley.<\/p>\n My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling microphone.<\/p>\n \u201cPretty as those mountaintops are, folks,\u201d the tour guide said, \u201cRemember this: It\u2019s down in the valley where everything grows.\u201d<\/p>\n Again, Tom reached for my hand.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t worry,<\/em> I heard God\u2019s gentle whisper in my heart. I\u2019ll watch over your children. The time has come for you and Tom to move on.<\/em> I took my husband\u2019s hand and gripped it tightly.<\/p>\n God had brought us safely this far. Surely, with his help, new discoveries, challenges and growth were waiting for us, too\u2026 just around the bend.<\/p>\n Thank you, Lord, for change! I accept your challenge to grow.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" To our left, the Santa Lucia Mountains jutted into the cornflower blue western sky. To our right, the Pinnacles Mountains rose likewise into the cloudless east. And rushing alongside our tour bus windows in a blur of emerald, teal, mint and kelly green was the verdant flat patchwork quilt of California\u2019s Salinas Valley. The tour […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":42484,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":"","_ppma_block_editor_authors":"","_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_bluesky_share_type":"","_mastodon_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"","timeOption":"","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":""},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[376],"tags":[156],"ppma_author":[648],"class_list":["post-21491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-managing-life-changes","tag-death"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n