{"id":21506,"date":"2026-03-11T11:16:12","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T11:16:12","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2026-04-24T02:24:12","modified_gmt":"2026-04-24T02:24:12","slug":"forever-sisters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/guideposts.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/living-with-cancer\/forever-sisters\/","title":{"rendered":"Forever Sisters"},"content":{"rendered":"

Another sleepless night. Tossing and turning with muscle spasms and body aches. My Lyme disease had flared up again. I\u2019d been taking antibiotic cocktails twice a day for a year, but the disease had gone undiagnosed for too many years before that. I\u2019d become a prisoner of my illness. I had to quit my job. I couldn\u2019t get out much. My husband was more of a caretaker than a companion. None of our children lived near enough to visit very often. What was the purpose of my life anymore?<\/em> I wondered. I couldn\u2019t even get a decent night\u2019s rest.<\/p>\n

I got up and pulled on my robe. A computer waited in a small room down the hall. It took me into other worlds, to help block out the pain. I surfed the Internet and ended up in a chat room for women. But it was empty. Just like my life.<\/p>\n

Tears slid down my cheeks as I stared at the blank screen. I typed a message. \u201cI don\u2019t know how to suffer with grace. I don\u2019t want to live any longer. God, if you are everywhere you will see this.\u201d<\/p>\n

I buried my face in my hands. When I looked up I saw that the name Barbara was on the screen. \u201cI\u2019m not God, but I want to talk to you,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

Barbara in Tennessee chatted with me in California for an hour. We wound up exchanging e-mail addresses. Finally I went back to bed and slept better than I had for a long while. I knew I\u2019d found a friend.<\/p>\n

Barbara was my first thought when I awoke the next morning. I turned on the computer and wrote to her. From then on it was California to Tennessee and back again every day.<\/p>\n

\u201cToday was tough,\u201d Barbara wrote one evening. She worked in social services, just like me before I was sidelined with Lyme disease. She told me of a sad situation I\u2019d seen many times on the job. That wasn\u2019t all we had in common. Barbara and I discovered we\u2019d both been born in Pennsylvania and had lived in many of the same places. She also had a grown child she didn\u2019t see often enough. Barbara and I could talk to each other about anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re like sisters who were separated at birth,\u201d I told her more than once. We each had a telephone plan with a special 20-minute rate. We called once a month. One of us set a timer for 20 minutes, then the other would call back so we could talk for another 20 minutes. Before we hung up we always said, \u201cI love you, Sis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Barbara and I often laughed about how strange it was for us to feel as close as we did considering we\u2019d never met face-to-face. We talked about getting together after I was fully recovered. \u201cLet\u2019s move to a tropical island,\u201d Barbara said. \u201cOr go on a cruise!\u201d Our big plans.<\/p>\n

In 1998 a series of tornadoes tore through Barbara\u2019s area of Tennessee. Telephones and electricity were out. Every time the phone rang I hoped to hear her voice. I constantly checked my e-mail. Hours became days. Without my newfound friend and sister I started to crawl back into that dark place inside myself. Keep her safe, Lord,<\/em> I prayed. And keep me safe, too.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then the phone call came: \u201cHi, it\u2019s me,\u201d she shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank God. I can\u2019t imagine not having you in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll always be in your life,\u201d Barbara said. \u201cWe are sisters forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

I saw Barbara through that disaster, and she saw me through the forest fires that threatened my area in 2001. My Lyme symptoms abated, and I felt better. We continued our daily e-mails and our monthly phone calls. We exchanged gifts. Nothing arrived for my birthday in 2003, but I knew Barbara was overworked that summer.<\/p>\n

The day after my birthday she asked in her e-mail how I liked the gift she sent. I hadn\u2019t gotten it. \u201cI\u2019ll put out a tracer at the post office tomorrow,\u201d she said. \u201cOn my way to the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019d been having stomach problems. We both thought it was the stress from long hours on her job. But Barbara\u2019s doctor admitted her to the hospital to run some tests. I awaited the diagnosis.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe news isn\u2019t good, Sis,\u201d Barbara said when she called. \u201cI have pancreatic cancer. The doctors don\u2019t know how long I will last.\u201d<\/p>\n

I dropped to my knees. \u201cPlease don\u2019t die,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay. Remember, I\u2019ll always be with you. I love you, Sis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her words still hovered in the air when she hung up. Her daughter called that night. Barbara had told her all about me. Her mother had gone into a coma. Two days later Barbara died.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t think I had any tears left, but I cried nonstop. I would miss her so much. Her monthly phone calls, her daily e-mails, her constant friendship. And I never got the chance to see her or hug her. Now all our big plans to meet were nothing but a pipe dream.<\/p>\n

On the day of Barbara\u2019s funeral the doorbell rang. It was the mailman with her missing birthday gift, delivered first to a wrong address.<\/p>\n

My hands shook as I opened the box. Inside was a heart-shaped pin of small rubies, with a note tucked underneath: \u201cBought this at a two-fer sale. One for me, one for my sister.\u201d I would wear mine every day.<\/p>\n

I called her daughter to tell her I had gotten this gift at last. She told me that Barbara made a special request to be buried wearing her own heart-shaped pin. \u201cSo my sister can find me in heaven,\u201d she\u2019d said. I have no doubt of that. God helped us find each other here on earth. He knew the perfect setting for our big plans to meet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Another sleepless night. Tossing and turning with muscle spasms and body aches. My Lyme disease had flared up again. I\u2019d been taking antibiotic cocktails twice a day for a year, but the disease had gone undiagnosed for too many years before that. I\u2019d become a prisoner of my illness. I had to quit my job. 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