Breaking the Mother’s Curse…

Guideposts blogger Michelle Medlock Adams reflects on “the mother’s curse,” when your kids make the same mistakes that you did.

As a parent, don't expect perfection from your kids--or yourself.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” (1 Corinthians 12:9, NIV)

It’s been called, “The Mother’s Curse.”

“I hope you have a child just like you when you grow up!”

Chances are, your own mother has uttered those words to you, usually following something you did that totally aggravated her. And, chances are—you went on to have a child just like you!

In my case, I had two.

You know what’s interesting about raising children that are exactly like you? You tend to see all of your faults in them. It’s as if there is a gigantic magnifying glass, constantly revealing their weaknesses, which also happen to be the same weaknesses that you struggle with on a daily basis.

Michelle Medlock Adams and her daughter Ally.This, of course, creates the perfect breeding ground for fighting, resentment and hurt. For example, when my daughter Allyson parked in a no parking zone and received a hefty parking ticket for her negligence, I wanted to throttle her. I knew she didn’t have the money to pay for the ticket, and I knew we couldn’t tell her Dad because that kind of stuff takes his stress level into the danger zone, so that meant dear old Mom would be forking over $75.

I was ticked!

Just as I was about to unleash an irresponsibility lecture, I remembered that I had not one, but seven parking tickets when I attended Indiana University. I also remembered that I almost wasn’t able to walk in the graduation ceremonies because I hadn’t paid them or even told my parents that I’d ever received them. And, I remembered that when I did finally tell my Mom about the seven tickets, she simply wrote a check and said, “Never speak of this.”

She let me off the hook without a lecture, and she didn’t tell my Dad who probably would’ve taken away my car for good. I was given grace; therefore, I needed to pay it forward. So, I didn’t lecture Ally. Instead, I told her about my numerous IU parking tickets, and we had a good laugh.

She truly is her mother’s daughter, and you know what? That’s okay.

It’s time we give our children and ourselves a break. We shouldn’t expect them to be perfect, and we shouldn’t expect perfection from ourselves, either.

God loves us and our children, and He doesn’t hold our weaknesses against us, keeping track of every time we fail. Remember, His power is made perfect through our weakness. Now, that’s worth celebrating! (In fact, go ahead and have a box of Milk Duds on me!)

After all, we may have the “Mother’s Curse,” but the “Father’s blessing” trumps that every time.

 

Excerpted from When Chocolate Isn’t Enough–An Inspirational Survival Guide for Moms by Michelle Medlock Adams (Worthy Inspired).

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