What If Something Happens to You?

On our way to the grocery store, we stopped at our bank’s drive-through ATM to get cash. My wife, Candy, who’d recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, asked, “What will I do if something happens to you? I haven’t used an ATM for years, and I don’t know our PIN.” It was true that she often got confused with the simplest things on her cell phone, and had given up on using her computer. I reassured her that our son and daughter-in-law, with whom we share a duplex, also kept a record of all such pertinent information, just in case.

“If something happens to you” expresses Candy’s anxiety that I may die first, which she dares not speak about directly. Also very real is the possibility that as I age, I may become unable to effectively care for her. Reciting the practical arrangements we have made every time she asks about this is only partial assurance, and I make a point of not getting mired in the details that she might find confusing. Her deeper fear is being left alone at the end of life. Awkward as praying that I may outlive her feels, I want to care for her all her days. But at the same time, I know that I can’t promise that to myself or to her.

The one thing we are both promised is that God will watch over us and comfort us always.