The Importance of Being There
I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.—2 John 1:12 (NIV)
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.—JOSHUA 1:9 [NIV]
“I found a penny in the street—roughed up, beaten and defaced. I picked it up and kept it, for there’s still value here. As I dropped it in my pocket, I thought: There’s my life, too. Roughed up, beaten and defaced . . . yet God still is the center of my soul.”
This excerpt is from my journal dated October 1998, a year after my wife, Martha, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at age 50. When hit with this troubling news, I feared that my experience and skills were too shallow for what lay ahead. Desperate, I searched for answers—medical, physical, emotional, mental, relational and spiritual.
Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk and author, says: “He who attempts to act and do things for others . . . without deepening his own self-understanding . . . and capacity to love, will not have anything to give others.”
Over the course of my volatile 17-year odyssey with Martha, I finally learned this: If I was going to care for my loved one with empathy and love, then I must care for myself.
I call this the “Caregiver’s First Commandment,” and I try my best to follow it.
Dear Father, thank you for teaching me to care for myself as I also care for my loved one.
I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete.—2 John 1:12 (NIV)
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.—2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NIV)
The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.—Proverbs 19:8 (NIV)