A Family Torn Apart

Some illnesses pull a family closer together. Mental illness was tearing ours apart. My husband, Herb, suffered from anxiety and depression. Many times he was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts.

A close relative blamed me for Herb’s depression. “Why don’t you take responsibility for your part?” she asked angrily. I was told that “it takes two to tango” and that if I wasn’t making Herb happy, then I was to blame for his sadness. I had done everything I could to help my husband. I couldn’t believe I was being blamed for his illness! I was hurt and I became self-righteous because of it.

One morning, our daughter phoned home crying. “Mom, I love you and Dad both, but I don’t know who to get behind!” My heart was breaking—since when did anyone need to take sides when someone in a family is ill? “Well then,” I said, “let’s just get behind Dad and give him our love and support.” In time, through prayer, God made me realize that as the mother of this family, I had to try to set an example of forgiveness. It was not easy. We were all hurting. Nonetheless, I needed to lead by example. Slowly, with prayer, we began to pull together as a family again. We had been torn apart, but through God’s grace, we were put back together and made new.