A Tough Decision

I slipped into the funeral home, and Mom was in a nursing home now, under hospice care. It was time to get familiarized with her pre-paid funeral arrangements. I dreaded it.

The funeral director greeted me with a kind smile. As we reviewed the paperwork, I started bawling. “Forgive me. I just put Mom in a nursing home and I’m having a tough time of it. I keep second-guessing myself. It’s one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made.”

He handed me some tissues. “Mrs. Mangas, I’ve got something you might like to read.” He reached into a desk
drawer, and handed me a book titled When Love Gets Tough: The Nursing Home Decision, by Doug Manning. We finished our business, and I thanked him and headed home.

The book was a life-changing read. Doug Manning—a minister—wrote it based on personal experience. He discussed why the decision often has to be made, and how patients and their families learn to adjust. The title of the first chapter said it all: “Love Is Doing What People Need—Not What They Want.”

I still wished Mom didn’t need to be in a nursing home, but after reading Manning’s book, I was confident she was where she needed to be. It was the safest place for her. Her physical needs had exceeded my capabilities. I understood now. My decision was born of love, not indifference.