Brotherly Love

As caregivers, we give and give and give. We do the laundry and the shopping. We dispense medication. We make phone calls, schedule appointments, and screen visitors. And the list goes on.

We can become compulsive in our need to control. But we should remember that those receiving our care also enjoy giving—and we should never rob them of that privilege.

Some of humanity’s worst fears are not to feel needed and literally not to be needed. For our loved ones, this fear is rooted in an inability to love and serve those around them as they once did during the healthy years of their lives. If we as caregivers take over everything and stop viewing their relationship as a reciprocal one of brotherly love, our loved ones will naturally struggle.

Resist any compulsive need to control. Let loved ones have the joy of giving as long as possible. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—maybe they’ll update us on the news, take their own calls, provide advice, tell stories, or simply share a smile. As a caregiver, be ready to receive these gifts. In this way, you honor your care recipient in true brotherly love.