Caregiving for the Caregivers

It was to be my friend Carole’s final hours in her beloved home. Her Alzheimer’s had progressed, and the next morning she was to go to a care facility. Her family had asked that I stay the night with her.

I had moments, not months, to make a difference. How? I fretted. Carole was closed off to so many things that had once brought joy. I thought how, some three decades earlier, she had been my mentor when I was assigned to her floor as a new nurse. In my mind’s eye, I saw her in her uniform, her frosted blonde hair. I’d been absolutely enchanted with her. “You look just like Midge, Barbie’s best friend,” I heard myself say.

That day, Carole had stressed that while nurses care for many patients over many days of their careers, we are only really assured of this day. “How do you fit everything into just one day?” I wanted to know.

“Simple pleasures!” she said with a smile. “An evening back rub, ordering a favorite snack from the kitchen, making their bed up taut so wrinkles don’t crease their fragile skin.”

So all that night, I followed Carole’s long-ago lead. I dressed her bed with fresh-from-the-dryer sheets, fluffed her pillows just so, massaged her back with a jasmine-scented lotion, served her a cup of herbal tea.

The sheer bliss on Carole’s face said it all. Simple, nurturing pleasures ease even the most difficult of times.