Contributions

Before her Alzheimer’s diagnosis, my wife, Candy, loved her life in the kitchen and her well-deserved reputation as a wonderful cook and baker. Though I now prepare most of our suppers, she still enjoys contributing in the kitchen. When I am in the house, she makes omelets for herself, and chicken soup and Jell-O for both of us. She assembles salads while I prepare the supper. Cutting carrot sticks has become a manual therapy. As her hands work, her mind calms.

Sometimes Candy prepares our entire supper with salad, soup and Jell-O dessert. Those evenings I make a point of thanking her for making our dinner, and she’ll respond, “You’re welcome. I guess I’m still good for something and make some contribution around here.” I try to list some of her other contributions.

Anyone engaged in caregiving knows that a few safety adjustments are essential to enabling our loved ones to contribute. Not to worry. I’m there for anything hot, and she uses serrated paring knives that won’t cut her. Just because she can’t do something today that she could yesterday, it doesn’t mean that skill will not be back tomorrow. When she expresses regret that she can’t do something she used to do, I affirm the value of all she’s contributed in our half-century together. As her Alzheimer’s continues to take a toll, her well-being depends on knowing that her contributions are recognized and appreciated.