Knowing When to Take Control

My mother-in-law didn’t drive great distances. She made two trips a week on country roads within a three-mile radius of her home. Then she was diagnosed with macular degeneration. As the optometrist explained the disease, I knew her driving days would soon end. I hoped to avoid a battle of wills when that day arrived.

I told the optometrist that when he said she could no longer drive, we would abide by his advice. My mother-in-law looked at me for a moment, then seconded the decision.

Often a caregiver has to take control of another person’s life. Independence is the last thing my mother-in-law wanted to relinquish and the last thing I wanted to take from her.

Many other decisions followed this one. Any that involved safety or medical issues, we accepted the advice of the professionals. The less significant ones were left to her. What would you like from the grocery? Do you want to go shopping? Which store? What would you like to do today?

By leaving the small decisions to her, she maintained some control of her own life. But in times when decisions were critical and needed to be made right away, I joined hands with my family and asked God for the wisdom needed.