Sing!

The ICU is not often a happy place. It’s quiet, and somber and lonely. There is a lot of waiting done there. On this particular day, I was waiting for my husband, Mike, to get better.

“We’re taking him down for an MRI,” a nurse told me. She carefully readied Mike since he was hooked up to four banks of monitors. She attached his oxygen tube to a portable unit. She, another nurse, and two techs pushed his bed and all his equipment out of the ward.

After they left, I had trouble finding God there in that silent room. I thought about how Mike was slipping. I’d watched him go from a nasal cannula to an oxygen mask, and then to a ventilator. His fever spiked. Diagnoses were complicated. I felt alone.

Then the housekeeper breezed in. As she cleaned, I heard her singing softly. I could only hold my head in my hands and let the tears flow. “What’s the matter?” she asked me.

I swallowed hard. “He’s not getting better,” I said.

In answer, she raised her voice. Her heartfelt hymn flowed across the room. “Leaning on the everlasting arms,” she sang. We didn’t exchange another word. But as her hymn went on, I felt my spirit lift with hope. I felt held tight in those everlasting arms.