The Comforter Has Come

I was having lunch in a small West Virginia diner when I noticed an elderly man in high-bib overalls and a blue plaid flannel shirt at the cash register. He didn’t know me by name, but we’d talked a few times at antiques shops in town. I’d heard he’d been battling cancer and was receiving chemo.

I don’t know what came over me, but I got out of my chair at the big round table and walked up to him. “I’m Roberta,” I told him, “and I know you’ve been going through a rough patch.”

The man pointed to an old-timey coffee grinder on the diner wall. “They don’t make things like they used to, do they?” he said.

I took in the gentle curve of his withered lips. “They don’t make smiles like yours anymore, either.” And then the words out of my mouth astonished me. “Could you use a hug?”

He opened his arms wide and a huge smile filled his face. “A hug? Why, I exist on hugs!”

Scientists have even studied the comforting power of hugs. When we share a hug, our body releases oxytocin, which is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone.” It increases happiness, and lowers stress and pain. I’ve decided to make hugs a part of all of my caregiving. They’re one of the best ways to communicate the love of the one who promises to never leave us comfortless.