The Gift of Giving

“Do you want a back rub or a foot rub?” I ask my husband, Jean-Claude, on one of his rare sick days at home. When we exchanged wedding vows, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. With my diagnosis of schizophrenia and an anxiety disorder, we have had to put that promise into action more days than not.

Today, Jean-Claude decides on a foot rub. I gladly take his foot into my hands because it isn’t often that I have the opportunity to comfort him. In our household, I take most of the comforting and care.

I frequently try to talk my husband into splurging for a massage or watching one of his favorite television shows like reruns of M*A*S*H. It’s unfortunately unusual for him to follow through on one of my suggestions for self-care.

I explain that doing something to care for himself or accepting an offer of care from me is actually a gift to me. I want to be a giver too.

That old cliché that it is better to give than to receive became a worn-out saying because it was so true, and continues to be, in so many people’s lives.