Two Equals One

“I don’t have to go,” Mom protested as my sister, a nurse, escorted her to the bathroom, explaining how quickly a urinary tract infection could set in and how serious it could be.

I added that mental note to the other medical facts I had learned from her as we tag-teamed caring for our mom. My sister knew how to change sterile dressings, adjust medications and check vital signs. I felt like an inadequate caregiver.

But when it came to providing emotional support, my sister felt inadequate. As an ER nurse, she’d learned to tamp down her feelings so she could provide the best care for her patients. To keep her heart from conflicting with her head, she focused on Mom’s medical needs.

I focused on Mom’s emotional needs. When she was afraid to sleep alone, I snuggled beside her. When she reminisced about the past or imagined what heaven would be like, I listened. When she craved physical touch, I held her hands or embraced her.

In our exhaustion and the stressful situation, it would have been easy for my sister to think I left the hardest jobs for her. Or I could have criticized her for often escaping to the other room.

Instead, I’m thankful for her knowledge, and in turn I could do the things for our mom that were more difficult for her.