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Even Jesus had a fish story.

Sign in front of a church in Cleveland, Oklahoma

If you are able to laugh, you are the owner of the world.

Roberto Benigni, Italian comedian and Oscar-winning director

Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game.—God

Billboard on an Arizona highway

God has unlimited anytime minutes.

Church sign in Smithfield, Virginia

Fastest way to heaven: knee mail.

Sign on a church in Buford, Georgia

Part of managing to grow old gracefully is that you just take the next step and hope you don’t fall when you take it.

Walter Cronkite, Former CBS news anchor

Under the same management for 2,000 years.

Written on a sign outside a church in Eden, North Carolina

God is always a wireless provider.

Sign outside church in Hutchinson, Kansas

This church is a gift from God—Assembly required.

Sign on a church in Streetboro, Ohio

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Humor columnist Dave Barry

Pessimists need a kick in the can’ts.

Mary Katherine and David Compton, Authors

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright, Stand-up comic and actor

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