It wasn’t that my sister-in-law Kay and I didn’t get along. I just wanted us to have a closer relationship, to really be friends. I’d been praying for that for a long, long time.
When I moved next door to her and my brother, Olan, two years ago, I thought, Here’s my chance!
Their vegetable garden is huge, and just over the fence from my house. The weeks Olan was home—he’s a tugboat captain and away a week at a time— they loved to tend their garden together. Kay grew tons of tomatoes in the summer, then Olan planted a big patch of greens—turnip, mustard, collards, broccoli.
He says they’re ground cover to enrich the soil, but we manage to eat a good many of them (we Southerners love our greens!).
The weeks Olan was gone, I’d see Kay out there by herself, wide-brimmed hat shading her from the sun, digging with a trowel. Must get lonely for her, I thought one day. Maybe we can be good company for each other. So I went down to the garden and asked, “Can I give you a hand?”
“No, thanks,” she said. “I can do it.”
No, thanks. That was Kay’s answer every time I suggested we do something together—watch a movie, have lunch, go shopping. She didn’t even offer an excuse. She just said no.
I asked Olan about it. “Is it me? Do I rub Kay the wrong way?”
“No,” he said. “Kay’s close to me and her sisters and her kids, but that’s it. She doesn’t really have other friends.”
Is it any wonder, when she’s so standoffish? I grumbled. Well, if Kay wants to keep to herself, so will I. I give up.
One night I settled in to watch a movie that was all about how like attracts like. A positive approach elicits a positive response. To get closer to someone, the movie showed, you’ve got to focus on what you like about that person.
Okay, I could do that. What did I like about Kay? She loves my brother and takes such good care of him. She’s generous about sharing what they grow in their garden. And she has a really cute way of saying “Dang!” when she’s delighted by something, especially if it comes as a surprise.
I started using “Dang!” too, even tried to say it with the exact same drawl Kay did. It sounds silly, but each “Dang!” made me feel more positive toward her. I even went back to praying that someday, somehow we would become friends.
One day Olan was getting ready to plow the patch of greens under and told me to help myself to the roots. I dug up a bunch of big juicy turnips. I cooked some with bacon. Mmm. The next time, I melted some cheese over them. Even better. A friend suggested adding diced potatoes. The best yet!
It was only right to share this dish with Olan and Kay since I was using turnips from their garden. I called and Kay answered. “Hey, it’s Pat,” I said. “What are you making for dinner?”
“Meatloaf.”
“I’m cooking up a pot of turnip roots and cheese. How ’bout I bring it over?” I asked.
“Fine,” she said. “You making cornbread too?”
A little later, I knocked on their door, a pot of turnips in one hand, a basket of hot cornbread in the other. Olan and Kay liked my turnips so much they went back for seconds and thirds. After dinner Olan called our brother back in Tennessee. Kay and I sat on the porch together, just the two of us, and had a really nice visit.
The next day my phone rang. It was Kay. “Last night was fun,” she said. “Want to come over for dinner again?” She said Olan was so inspired by my turnip dish, he decided to cook up his own. “I’ll make the cornbread this time,” Kay said. “You don’t have to bring a thing… except yourself.”
Dang!
Try Pat’s Turnips for yourself!
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