My friend and I recently took an art class together through our town’s community education program. Our classmates were a mix of ages, stages of life, and experience with making art. We stood out in the class—not for our artistic talent, we’d be the first to laughingly admit, but for our consistent encouragement of ourselves, each other, and the group. It got me thinking, how to make encouragement a habit?
It became something of a joke between the two of us, our seemingly unceasing ability to compliment each other, offer a positive comment when another student showed his or her work, and generally chat around the table about how fun, relaxing, or hilariously waylaid our project was going.
Kindness, Gentleness, Positivity
But reflecting back, our positivity was anything but a joke. It was a bright light in my week, a space where I knew I could count on a calm, just-for-me activity and be enveloped in kindness, gentleness, and positivity.
Here’s the most special thing about it—and what made it actually mean something: my friend’s and my positive conversation wasn’t just encouraging, it was true.
We didn’t go for cheap, demonstrably false compliments like, “This painting should be in a museum!” Instead, we went for authentic expressions of support and encouragement, like, “I love how you did that cloud!”
When we were discouraged with our own work, the other was there to offer a suggestion for how to improve it, or to laugh and point out a frustration of our own to meet each other where we were.
A Sacred Space
Over time, the class became something of a sacred space, because we had made a habit of using encouraging, supportive language. Sentence-starters like, “I like,” “I appreciate,” “I want to try,” or, “I notice” kept us present, positive, and honest.
The encouragement also kept us engaged in the work of making art. I feel sure that I learned more—and practiced more at home—because the activity was couched in such consistently positive terms, grounded in a growth mindset, self-acceptance, and encouragement.
Having a friend to share an encouragement habit is fabulous, but you can practice it on your own as well. Compliment yourself in the mirror every morning. Keep a running “great work” list of things you are doing well today. Trust in your ability to find something loving—and true—to comment on today and every day.
How do you make encouragement a habit?
