My quiet time this morning was filled with distraction. Every time I tried to pray, it was as if I’d walked into a room where twenty conversations were happening at once. After a few attempts at focusing I stopped to reassess. An odd request came to mind:
Show me what I’m afraid of, Lord.
Ah! I’d forgotten that restlessness in prayer can be a signal that I’m circling around something uncomfortable. I took a deep breath and probed. It didn’t take long to figure out; the fear was lurking just below the surface. Once I’d named it and turned it over to God, the noise in my head quieted.
Obstacles to prayer and devotion come in many forms. Fear interferes in a particularly subversive way, agitating our hearts. Often, if we simply name it—“I’m afraid of _______, Lord”—we can see it more clearly for what it is. The cliff we think we’re about to fall off of suddenly looks more like a small drop, or the catastrophe-in-waiting is actually an uncomfortable (but manageable) hardship. Saying, “I’m afraid I’ll fail” or “I’m afraid of making a fool of myself” or “I’m afraid she will die” brings our options into focus—and may make it more obvious how God wants us to respond.
Show me what I’m afraid of, Lord. And show me how you want me to handle that fear.
