The Opposites Game

“Let’s play Opposites!” Our party host took the lead, leaning over to touch the floor. So I stretched toward the ceiling! A few more challenges and we all were laughing heartily at our contortions. Understanding this game made me a better caregiver for my husband, Bob, who has Alzheimer’s.

I found that I often got angry or impatient as he repeated himself, or didn’t move fast enough. Sometimes he seemed to be playing Opposites at my expense, like taking groceries from the trunk faster than I could load them! When my negative feelings showed, my husband mirrored them. If I snapped at him, he snapped back with a vengeance. When I realized this, I slowly began to train myself to do the opposite of my first inclinations.

In an amazing example of Opposites, we actually started going out more after Bob’s diagnosis. We found like-minded couples in a support group, and began doing fun things together. Our social calendar became over-booked. While it’s common for caregivers to isolate, we were out in the open, breaking stigmas, embracing life. By doing the opposite of the expected—and what we initially felt—we truly thrived.