It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.—Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
Sheets of rain pelted the airplane window next to my seat. Watching the rain come down, I felt a twinge of my old familiar fear of flying. I sighed, discouraged. I’d thought that monster was gone for good.
In recent years, I’d become so much better about not dwelling on potential catastrophes. Instead, with lots of help from God, I had learned (or so I’d thought) to say one prayer and then place my flight in God’s capable hands. But this weather wasn’t helping. As the plane took off—bumping, jolting and shuddering its way heavenward—a blanket of fear and anxiety settled on me, as heavy and dense as the cloud ceiling.
Suddenly, though, we broke through. The plane leveled off and steadied just as the cabin filled with a luminous golden light. I looked back out the window. It was a beautiful day. The rain was gone. Beneath us stretched a fluffy carpet of wispy-topped white clouds. And there, bathing everything it touched with brilliance, was the sun. It had been up here shining all along—even while the rain clouds had blocked it from my view.
Like God, I thought, as I relaxed into my seat, my heart easy once again. Against the constancy of God’s light and love, the darkness of my inner turbulence doesn’t stand a chance.
Thank you, God, for your patience in the face of my most persistent and intractable fears, and for reminding me that, even when my eyes are clouded, you are there.
