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Why Pray for Someone Who Has Caused You Pain?

How to pray for someone who has caused you pain.

Praying for someone who has hurt you
Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

There are people from our past who have wounded us deeply, and when we think of what they did to us, it’s still painful. But what if, instead of being preoccupied by how they hurt us, we prayed for them? At first, this can be a challenge because of the bad feelings and memories associated with this person. But it gets easier over time and eventually, through praying for them, we free ourselves from the anguish they caused.  

There was a time when a close friend of mine betrayed me. It took me by total surprise; I never expected this trusted individual to say the things he said to me and his words caused me great pain. Whenever I thought of this person, I was angered but mostly hurt and saddened. 

At first, I prayed for myself, asking God to help me understand how a close friend could hurt me. I couldn’t make sense of it. It wasn’t in the person’s nature to act the way he did. Though I prayed continuously for answers, they never came. 

I then decided to change what I was praying for. Instead of praying for myself, I began to pray for my friend’s wellbeing. Maybe he was dealing with personal issues that caused him to act in such a way. I didn’t know, but God did. I asked the Lord to help him face his struggles, and little by little, I began to have empathy for this person. My anger, resentment and hurt were replaced with compassion and grace. It wasn’t a quick fix; it took time, but in the end I released myself from the pain he caused me.  

I believe in the power of praying for those who have hurt us. We pray for these individuals because they, too, need God’s grace, love and mercy. We are all broken, wounded and in need of becoming whole. In doing so we also free ourselves from the pain they have caused us. Yes, this may be challenging to do, but as stated in the Bible, “With God all things are possible.” 

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