I awoke at 4:47 a.m., which is early even for this early bird. I pulled the warm blanket up and shut my eyes. Getting up was a possibility: I had things to do. However, I had a busy day ahead and later on would probably regret getting up.
I was not quite drowsy enough to drift off, so going back to sleep wasn’t an option. Lying with my eyes closed and letting my thoughts wander would be relaxing and gentle, perhaps the best I could do.
“Or you could pray…” came a thought, followed quickly by, “Nah, I don’t feel like it!”
And then I was wide-awake, shocked at having heard myself be tempted and having observed how easily I gave in. I’d devoted as much energy to my decision as I put into what flavor of gum I want to chew or which type of cheese to put on my sandwich. In other words, it happened in a fraction of a second without any real thought at all.
I suspect that “I don’t feel like it” is one of the most pernicious excuses we give when we sidestep the opportunity to serve God and neighbor. But our preferences aren’t our god; God is. And if it occurs to us that we could pray or be of service or reach out in kindness to someone, it’s quite possible that the thought wasn’t random but was placed in our mind by the Holy Spirit. We don’t often get engraved invitations to serve the Lord. Sometimes all we get is a whispered opportunity.
