When our son first returned from his tours in the Middle East, I was surprised by his hostility toward strangers who wanted to thank him for his military service. He would accept the thanks of those he knew and trusted, but the gratitude from those he didn’t know left him angry and resentful.
But after observing those who were so quick to express thanks, I noticed it’s often the result of overcompensation. And I believe that pat phrase, “Thank you for your service,” often covers a deeply held bias against those who served.
I’m always amazed when I come up against this bias. I first noticed it when our son decided to enlist in the Marine Corps.
I’ve shared before that his decision caught us off guard. But that surprise did not include shame or dismay. Yes, we worried about where that decision would take him, but we knew he didn’t make this choice lightly. And more importantly, he didn’t make it because he didn’t have any other options.
I truly believe that the people who are quickest to jump in and thank a veteran for his or her service are those who believe these men and women are enlisting because they can’t do anything else. Furthermore, I think this is why so many veterans are uncomfortable when they run into these comments.
Am I advocating that we stop thanking veterans for their incredible sacrifice and service? Not at all. But I would like to suggest that we all take a close look at our perceptions about those who have chosen this path.
We need to support them with more than just words and empty phrases.
I encourage you to support veteran organizations that help those re-entering civilian life. Reach out to programs that provide service dogs, counseling and job help.
Beyond that, we need to become participants in the democratic process. If we truly care about their sacrifices, it’s up to us to stay informed about how our veterans are being treated and what is happening to the benefits owed them.
It’s vital that we educate ourselves on those running for office, and take time to vote. Our voices can help change the course of our country. But we can’t do it, if we don’t participate.
Don’t stop at “thank you.” Follow through to make sure these brave men and women know we appreciate them.
