Coming home from deployment can be a difficult time for service members. As a family member, we feel nothing but joy and relief. We’re proud that our loved one has made this sacrifice and it’s only natural to want to tell the world. But the service member has mixed feelings they’re trying to cope with. We need to be sensitive to what they’re going through and make re-entry as stress-free as possible.
War is ugly. Even the better parts of it are no picnic. Those who’ve been serving in a war zone are often trying to forget what they’ve seen and experienced. When we ask them questions about their experiences they can become defensive, withdrawn, and even angry. It’s good to be available to talk, but it’s important to let them initiate the conversation.
Driving can also be an issue, especially for those who have served in the Middle East. For our military personnel, a speeding car often meant danger. It’s hard to just turn off those instincts once they get home.
Returning service men and women aren’t always comfortable. Those who have recently come home from deployment are used to being on alert all the time. Crowds and confusion were dangerous situations. Those feelings often carry over, at least initially.
Survivor’s guilt may be an issue as well for those recently back home. So many of our troops have buddies that didn’t make it home, or made it home wounded. Returning military members often question why they came home in better shape. Many also resent being called heroes, believing that others are more deserving of that title.
Movies and television that depict war time aren’t always welcome entertainment. For one thing, they’re rarely accurate. Then, those that are more representative of what actually happened bring back unwelcome memories.
The hardest thing for families can be the faith issue. Often someone serving in a war zone comes home with some difficult questions about God. They’ve seen the world at its worst, and this can affect their faith. The best thing we can do is to love them through this crisis. It’s not something we can resolve for them. But we can pray for them, and listen as they talk. We also must remember that God is big enough to handle their doubts and questions.
We want to celebrate the return of those who’ve served. But we need to do it with the focus on what they are most comfortable with. By taking time to listen to what they want we can avoid putting them in situations that cause additional stress.
