Having a child—or for that matter a spouse—who serves in the military can require a certain skill set. Today I’m going to share some of the coping tricks I’ve learned as a military mom.
1) Disagree gracefully.
I now have the ability to smile and nod—even when I don’t agree with the person across from me. I learned early on that announcing I had a child in the military didn’t always bring the positive response I thought it deserved. I also discovered that arguing with those who didn’t have a positive response got me nothing but frustrated. So I developed the talent of looking pleasant and engaged even when I was seething with hostility.
2) Learn the lingo.
I now speak another language. It’s not an official language, but military lingo definitely sounds foreign unless we have a loved one who serves.
3) Practice patience.
Dates and times for visits home are general targets, not promises. One of the first things I learned was that military precision doesn’t really apply in time-driven situations. This isn’t something your child can control, so be patient. He’s more frustrated by this than you’ll ever be.
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4) Welcome everyone.
I learned to accept and love the friends my military child brought home with him on leave. Those in the military don’t make a lot of money. And leave times are often short—even during the holidays. This means that military families get the opportunity to be family to those who can’t make it home.
5) Use a military filter.
I learned to run everything military-related through a filter of patience. There’s lot out there that can be frustrating, but getting irritated doesn’t help anyone. By knowing snafus will happen, we can often forestall adding fuel to an already volatile situation.
6) Carry a cell phone. Always.
I developed the ability to never go anywhere without my cell phone—especially during deployments. Those serving don’t always have the option of calling back if we don’t answer, so we learn to always have our phones within arm’s reach.
7) Be generous.
I had to develop the ability to share. Our son had other people who cared about him, so when he was at home, I couldn’t be stingy with them about the time he had to share.
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8) Write letters.
I learned how to write letters again. Some of them were sent as emails, but many were physical letters. It’s just not possible to carry an email with you on patrol, so I made sure my son had tangible evidence of just how much I loved and missed him.
9) Become a prayer warrior.
I became a warrior too—a prayer warrior. When we have a child in the military, we enter into a war of epic proportions, and our role isn’t minor.
Overall, my son wasn’t the only one with things to learn when he enlisted in the military. I also had a job to do by supporting him.
