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Turning Hurt into Love

Seek God instead of lashing out defensively.

Turning hurt into love
Credit: Getty Images

I think of myself as fairly level headed. I don’t take offense easily, and I’m quick to forgive. However, when someone messes with my family, that description no longer applies. Things that would be quickly forgiven if aimed at me become huge stumbling blocks when aimed at those I love. And although my first reaction might be one of defense and retribution, I can’t remember a single time when my interference helped. The only way I’ve found to make a difference is by turning to God.

Not only do I cry out and ask God to fight for my loved ones, but I also begin talking to Him about the person who instigated the hurt. I learned to do this the hard way. Because I tend to want justice—my version of justice—when a family member has been hurt. 

I experienced this after one particularly ugly discussion with a friend who insisted that my son was a horrible person for signing up to serve in the military. I walked away from the conversation and took some time outside, begging God to make her see reason and feel the hurt that she had caused me and my son.

But God’s justice is deeper and wider than that. 

He loves the person behaving badly just as much as He loves me. That day He reminded me that although it goes against every ounce of how I’m feeling, going to God on their behalf makes a difference in how I feel about the situation. Somehow, it takes the hurt out of my heart and puts it at the foot of the cross, the place where I find perspective. 

This doesn’t mean we must reenter a relationship with the attacker, but it gives us the ability to move on and let God do the fighting for us—and for those we love.

God the Father knows the hurt we’re feeling on our child’s behalf. He felt it when the world rejected His son, but only He knows how to turn that hurt into love. 

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