Her Adoption Journey

Hi, my name is Ann Hood. And this is my new novel, “The Red Thread.” 

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I started to write “The Red Thread” after my family adopted a baby girl from China five years ago– Annabelle, who’s now six– was 11 months old when we adopted her from Hunan province. Our decision to adopt came after we lost our own daughter, Grace, at the age of five in 2002 very suddenly from a virulent form of strep. 

And I have to say for the first year or a year and a half, I think shock and grief consumed us. And it was just basically getting one foot forward every day, being able to get dressed, and take care of our son, Sam who was nine at the time. But as we slowly re-entered the world, we realized that we still had a lot of parenting in us and a lot of love to give. 

And Sam still had the big brother in him that wanted to embrace another child. And we talked a lot to professionals and to adoption agencies about the idea of not replacing Grace, because she surely is irreplaceable, but to just bring a child who needed a family into a family who needed a child. 

And we decided to adopt from China for many reasons, not the least of which is it was at the time, the fastest and kind of the easiest. And once we decided to do it, we wanted it today. And so we waited one year and then flew to China to get Annabelle. And in that year, we did a lot of reading. 

We took a couple classes on Chinese history and culture. And the idea of “The Red Thread” kept coming up. It’s a Chinese idea that says that the children, who we are meant to have in our lives, are connected to us by an invisible red thread. And that no matter how tangled or afraid that thread becomes, our child is waiting at the other end. 

It’s such a beautiful idea, in general. But I think the adoption community has embraced it because when you’re waiting. And you’ve come to adoption often after loss of many kinds of loss after disappointments. And your expectations have been tried over and over. Your endurance is sort of wearing thin. 

But to think there is a baby at the other end is such a great idea that keeps you going. And I think you can expand it beyond just the adoption community. The idea of “The Red Thread” and the people in our lives– past, present, and even those to come– connected to us no matter what is really life-affirming and optimistic, I think. 

Yeah, I think our own red thread story took on a real resonance the day we got the phone call from our social worker, Stephanie, at our adoption agency to tell us that we had our referral for our baby in China. And we were all on a conference call– three of us– my husband, Stephanie, and myself– none of us in the same room. 

And Stephanie said three things. The first thing she said is, she’s cute. And the tears started at that. She’s healthy, which was a dream come true. And then the third thing was, she is nine months old. And her birthday’s April 18, at which point my husband and I grew mute. 

Stephanie said, is something the matter? And I couldn’t speak. But my husband said, no, no, we’re fine. And we’ll be there to sign up the papers and look at her pictures. We’re going to pick up Sam at school and get right to you. So Stephanie hung up. 

And I said to my husband, I can’t have that date. We have to change it. April 18 is the day our daughter grace died. And I couldn’t imagine that I would be able to bake cupcakes on that day, ever. And I was already thinking about, how do you change a passport? How do you get something so official changed? 

When my husband said, no, no, no, I think it’s a sign. I think that Grace wants us to be happy, even on the worst day. And the fact that we will have a child who was born on that day is a cause for celebration. And, of course, last year when Annabelle turned five, April 18 happened to fall on a Saturday. 

And we had the animal guy who comes and brings hedgehogs, and all these creepy animals that kids love to touch, and mothers run from. And I opened the door, holding a tray of cupcakes and realized the thing I thought I would never be able to do, I had just done it. 

And “The Red Thread” that day– actually, I stood in that doorway watching Annabelle. And I realized that “The Red Thread” didn’t just connect Annabelle to me, but it connected Grace to Annabelle and Annabelle’s mother 10,000 miles away, who had given birth to her, to all of us. And it was beautiful. 

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