Do you remember all the work and money it took to provide and pull off the perfect Christmas or birthday surprise for your child? The moment you saw the look of joy on her face and the thankful hugs made it all worth it?
Year after year, it took a little more work and a little more money to see the same joyful expression on your now teenager’s face. Year after year the joy on her face and her words of thanks faded.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to give nice things to our children. We love them. We want the best for them. Even our heavenly Father often showers us with blessings because He loves us.
However, if we give too much and sacrifice our own “needs” for our teens’ “wants,” it can lead to entitlement instead of thankfulness.
Here are a few suggestions to keep everyone thankful.
1. If your teen wants an expensive item, such as the latest designer jeans, cell phone, tablet or car, talk to her about how much you are willing to share in the cost of it. Teens who often work and save for something they really want are more likely to take care and be thankful for it.
2. Get your daughter involved with a community service such as helping at a homeless program, serving others at a soup kitchen, or spending time helping an elderly person at a nursing home. This takes the focus off of their wants and shows them the needs of others.
3. Remind your teen daughter or granddaughter that material things do not bring happiness, but only fill a temporary desire. Instead, spend time with her and make fun memories together. Pick a day of the week and make it her day.
My sons probably won’t remember all the wants they wanted as a teen, but they remember that for years Thursday evenings were our Dairy Queen Blizzard night watching “Survivor.”
It helped show my sons that they were special, and together, the four of us spent an evening talking and enjoying each other’s company. At the end of the day, they didn’t worry anymore about what they wanted that they didn’t have.
4. Express your thankfulness and gratitude toward others who help you. Show your teens, through your words and actions, the importance of giving thanks.
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21, NIV)
