I was in love, and I couldn’t wait for my parents to meet my new boyfriend. He was funny, smart, popular and good-looking. What was there not to like?
I was sure that my parents would love him too, but within a few minutes of the introductions, I knew my parents didn’t approve. I could tell by the looks on their faces, and it infuriated me.
They didn’t have to say a word, and it only gave me more reason to love him. It was a new challenge. I was going to prove to my parents that my new boyfriend was the one for me, not them.
As time passed and my perfect boyfriend became not so perfect, I realized my parents were right once again.
Can you relate? Has your teen daughter introduced you to her new boyfriend, and you’re not feeling so enthusiastic? Here are a few suggestions:
1) Stay calm and try not to react in a negative way. The new boyfriend might not be what you had in mind, but he might be a really good guy. Give him a chance.
2) Keep your criticisms to yourself. If you don’t hold your tongue, your daughter will defend him and will probably like him more just to prove her point. Unless he treats your daughter badly, keep quiet.
3) Talk to your daughter. Find out what she likes about him. Are her feelings real or superficial? Many teen girls feel the need to have a boyfriend–any boyfriend–just to fit in with their peers.
4) Set boundaries on how much time she spends with him. Encourage her to keep up with her friends and engage in other activities. This will open the door for her to meet other potential love interests.
We all want the best for our daughters and granddaughters and that includes her boyfriend. Keep in mind that he probably won’t be your future son-in-law and that she’ll probably fall in love another hundred times before she marries. Let’s hope so.
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. (Ecclesiastes 5:2, NIV)
