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It’s Not Mutual Anymore

Teach your teen daughter how to end relationships without causing hateful backlashes.

Teen texting. Photo from 123RF(r).

I remember when I first broke up with a boyfriend. The feelings I had for him were gone. I had to end and get out of the relationship as soon as possible.

I confidentially told my best friend and within a few hours the entire world knew about it including the guy, and he hated me forever. I officially broke someone else’s heart.

Teen breakups are going to happen and, in today’s world, teens use social media or technology, such as Twitter, texting, email and Instagram to break up fast.

Regardless of how the breakup occurs, someone is going to get hurt.  It’s important to discuss and teach your teen daughter how to end relationships without causing hateful backlashes.

Teen texting. Photo from 123RF(r).1.   Talk to your daughter about her relationship. If you know she’s ready to break it off with her boyfriend, encourage her not to tell her friends before she tells the guy. Feelings of anger surface when the person is the last to know about the breakup.

2.   Encourage her to talk to him. Discourage her from informing him via text or announcing the breakup by changing her status from “in a relationship” to “single” on Facebook. This could cause more anger than hurt feelings. If she insists on telling him face-to-face, encourage her to do so in a public place.

3.   Encourage her not to vacillate on her decision. Her boyfriend may guilt her or make her feel bad about her decision. Help her work through her feelings of why she wants to break up, and let her know that her boyfriend may try to persuade her not to break up.  

4.   Hurt feelings are going to happen. Talk to her about how to stay safe when a bad breakup turns from love to anger and violence. Breakup and dating violence is real.

Remind your daughter that breakups are not easy but often necessary if the relationship is not healthy. Time and distance from those who hurt us usually mend broken hearts.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

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