Actor Courtney B. Vance on the Challenges and Rewards of Caregiving

Hello, it’s Courtney B. Vance, and welcome to my Guideposts cover shoot. [MUSIC PLAYING] 

My mother, Ms. Leslie Anita Vance has ALS. My mother was a very active 78, and she used to run with us and go up hills with us. And so for her to get to the place now where she can’t– all she can do is blink– it’s very dark oftentimes with the journey that she’s on. 

It’s a ministry, caretaking and caregiving. There are times when all of us are at our wit’s end. I’ve been doing a lot of it with nurses and assistant. I wouldn’t be able to do it if, number one, my wife and the children didn’t embrace and say it was OK. 

Angela and I have been married, it’ll be 19 years this year, 20 years next year. Our lives have shifted with my mother, my mother coming in to our lives with her illness. So it’s hard for my wife to see her not be the mother who came in and, you know, helped her do this and helped her do that. We all miss that. 

What I say oftentimes to myself chiefly, but to my mother, is let’s try to find the joy wherever you can find it and whenever you can find it. Whenever you can find– whenever you can find an opportunity to smile or to find something to smile about, search for it. 

The ministry has to be a part of all of our lives so that we can all find the joy in taking care of her. What God has brought for me and with the life that he’s given me, I have nothing to complain about. I’m living the dream life, and within the dream life, it’s still work. You still have to work at everything. You’ve got to make time for yourself. You’ve got to make time for your family. 

I’m a helper. What can I do? How can I help? So I have to make sure that after I’ve helped everybody, I can go and have some fun and do some things for myself. 

So my mother is the strongest person that I know. Someone else would have given up, but she doesn’t. She has her days, but she finds a way with God’s help to keep stepping. And for that we are all eternally grateful. She is showing us how what the journey is.