By Dan Hoffman
For the past two weeks, I’ve been cat-sitting my friend’s feline, Seymour. The experience brought to mind my childhood pet, Klondike, the cat I wrote about in my recent Mysterious Ways story, “A Question of Love.”
I always knew Klondike loved my family, even if he couldn’t tell us in words. Still, I was surprised by the scientific research and abundance of observational evidence that proves animals experience love just like we do.
Subscribe to Guideposts’ New Inspiring Pets Magazine ‘All Creatures’!
Unexpectedly, Seymour taught me some new lessons about love. It got me thinking that maybe our household pets are meant to show us how to relate to other humans, especially if they practically demand love, like Seymour. Here are the main lessons I learned:
1) You can’t hurry love
The Supremes song gets it right. Seymour hid under the bed my first night there. I tried coaxing him out with treats and toys, to no avail. If anything, I was probably scaring him away even more. Eventually I backed off. Seymour had to get used to my presence, I couldn’t force it. Only the next morning, after I gave him space, did he emerge.
2)Every relationship is unique.
Each individual (feline or otherwise) has their way of showing and receiving love. I had to take time to understand what Seymour wanted from me and realize that he required more attention than most cats. But even though he was needy, I couldn’t just pick him up and put him on my lap like I used to with Klondike. Seymour didn’t like that at all.
3)Love needs to be noticed.
Seymour is a very verbal cat. Often, he sidled up to me and let out his soft meow or ran a few feet ahead of me and plopped down in my path. What did he want? A treat? No, he wasn’t interested in food. Did he want to play? After a short while, he got bored. Still, he continued to meow. I eventually reached the conclusion that he just wanted to be noticed. Like he was saying, “Hey, I’m here with you!” Perhaps Seymour is a complex and sensitive soul (like many people) whose sense of self needs recognition.
Read More: The Inspiring Tale of Library Cats, Baker and Taylor
4)Love requires being present.
Two people (or creatures) can be with each other and not actually be with each other. Seymour sensed when I spaced out or got too distracted by other things. Sometimes I wanted to read without attending to Seymour. This might have been okay if he was a lap cat, but Seymour was too restless for that. It wasn’t enough to distractedly pet him or toss his mouse toy with my free hand. He knew it was an empty gesture. Seymour has high ideals about love. For him it isn’t just making certain gestures; it’s about being totally devoted to him. One time he let me know I wasn’t present–unfortunately, by making a mess on the carpet.
5)Love transcends language.
Obviously Seymour couldn’t express his feelings in words. We had to use our intuition to understand each as best we could. I found myself how thinking how this most certainly also applies to love between humans too–we cannot assume that all of what is going on in our hearts can be expressed easily. Communication is an ongoing effort. Our actions, not words, often say the most.
6)Love is tough for a reason.
Seymour could be temperamental. He easily went from rubbing up against my shins to a full on attack, and then became calm again. In our relationship, it was mostly about him. He assumed he was welcome anywhere. Once, in the kitchen, I almost tripped over him because he lay down behind my feet and didn’t move when I took a step back. Despite his adorable qualities, he’s far from being my perfect “soul cat.” Nevertheless in two short weeks, Seymour made me realize that I was missing something in my life. That’s right, I’m planning to adopt a cat of my own!
What have your household pets taught you about love? Share your story with us.
