My friend and I sit at my table while the day grows dark. Our sons, two of hers and two of mine, come in from outside. They’re quiet. Too quiet. While we talk, the boys disappear, and soon there are winks of light.
We have spies and the spies have flashlights.
Our conversation rolls and turns while two tousled heads pop up from behind the sofa. After a moment, they dive back into darkness and the beats of light begin again. Whispers from the kitchen are telling–the other two spies are crouched near the stove.
We mamas sip tea and smile. Two boys try to slip past, but when they do, they drop a paper. I pick it up and see that it’s a code for flash talk.
One flash: Do you see us?
Two flashes: Have not been spotted.
Three flashes: Spotted.
Four flashes: Follow plan.
Five flashes: Go back.
Six flashes: Need to talk.
Seven flashes: Rugby (the dog) spotted us.
Eight flashes: Be quiet.
I share the code with my friend, and we delight in the ways of little boys. But my mind wanders and I begin to think about the blessing of straight talk. I think about the goodness in the ability to take whatever is on my soul straight to the throne of the Lord. I think of David. I want to emulate his wide-open heart in my own prayer life.
In his book, A Work of Heart: Understanding How God Shapes Spiritual Leaders, Reggie McNeal writes:
“David was honest with God. He did not pretend in his conversations with God, playing games to avoid confronting the truth about life, about his circumstances, and about himself. He felt he had nothing to hide from God; rather, he viewed his life as an open book. For this reason, David did not feel a need to sanitize his prayers. He brought to God the raw stuff of his heart, uncensored, untidied up. He was not afraid that God would be repulsed by his heart, because God, knowing his heart, still wanted communion with David…Understanding that his life was transparent before God, David enjoyed the full spectrum of emotional release to God.”
Precious, sweet amazing grace.
I can be straightforward, honest and open when communicating with God, too. I can share the raw stuff that often presses my spirit. As is. God is God. He’s my Creator. My Father. He knows the depths of my emotional heart, and he still wants to commune with me! There’s no need to cover. To contort. To code or hide.
God can handle my honesty, and He desires a relationship that is spirit-soul deep.
The boys retrieve their code card and communication resumes in tiny, bright flashes. Once in a while, when I see their faces, I see that their smiles shine, too.
Revealing oneself and being understood–it brings deep joy and peace.
