One of my least favorite things is finding myself in situations where, no matter how hard I try or how resourceful I am, there are problems that can’t be fixed. It makes me want to scream with frustration. Slowly, slowly, I’m learning my lesson:
I can’t always make it better, but I can always make it worse.
Yes, it’s true. And when I am stuck and shift my focus away to not-making-things-worse… well, it helps. Maybe that’s because I’m no longer feeding my own anxiety and stress into the situation. Or maybe it’s because my efforts get focused on what I can control, so I’m not circling in a frenzy around what I can’t.
There’s a corollary to this that I learned from a wise friend:
I’m only responsible for my input, not for the outcome.
I am responsible for what I teach my children, the example I set for others, the coping skills I model when faced with adversity or disappointment, the resources I pull in when help is needed.
My input includes the tone that accompanies my corrections, the attitude I display when frustrated or angry, the faith I practice (or fail to) in front of the observant eyes of others.
The outcome involves what people choose to do with all that. God gave every person in the world just as much free will as He gave me, and though I don’t always like it, their choices are their own.
If I’ve done what I could, behaved as I ought, and said what was needed, I have to let go of what happens after that. I’ve done what God asked of me.
In the end, that’s the most important thing of all.
