Funny

Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game.—God

God has unlimited anytime minutes.

Fastest way to heaven: knee mail.

Part of managing to grow old gracefully is that you just take the next step and hope you don’t fall when you take it.

Under the same management for 2,000 years.

God is always a wireless provider.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Pessimists need a kick in the can’ts.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

Before going on vacation, donate blood. Mosquitoes don’t give coffee and donuts. We do.