We’re only a few days into 2013 and I’ve already blown my main resolution. And not for the first time either. But this year I was really really going to try.
Try not to worry, that is. Or at least not to worry needlessly or excessively. I’ve long learned that I can’t go a whole year without worrying. Who can? At its core, worry is a survival tactic, a way or warning ourselves against danger, a caution flag we wave in front of our own face. We’d perish without it.
But we live in an age of worry, where worry itself becomes more of a problem than what is actually worried about. It started almost immediately this new year… Millie woke up on January 1 with intestinal problems. What vet would see her on New Year’s Day? Would I have to take her to the big animal ER on the Upper East Side with a waiting room full of sick cats and dogs and a dozen exotic animals?
No, my resolution told me, stop being hysterical. You’re going to give her white rice and poached chicken breast for a couple of days and she’ll be fine. You know that.
I wasn’t done violating my resolution. Back to work on Wednesday, I noticed half the staff coughing and sneezing and wheezing. Somebody’s spouse was down with pneumonia. Someone’s mother had landed in the hospital for the holidays. What if everyone gets sick? What if we can’t get our work done?
I got home to find a registered letter in my mailbox: Our apartment building was changing hands. What did that mean? Did we need to see a lawyer? An accountant? An accountant. Tax time was coming up. Julee and I were completely unorganized this year—well, no more so than any year, but still…
See what I mean? Sometimes I just can’t turn that worry machine down, let alone off. I couldn’t keep the resolution to worry less for even one day.
Julee used to sing with a wonderful improvisational jazz vocal group headed by the brilliant Bobby McFerrin, most widely known for his ’90s hit “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Bobby himself used to laugh about how silly the tune was despite the fact that it made him world-famous. In fact Julee and I had a goofy rubber fish on a plastic plaque in our bathroom up at the cabin and if you pushed the button on the fish, its head popped around and sang Bobby’s “Don’t Worry” song. And it was true, we all agreed. The happiest people we knew were always the most worry-free. There was an indubitable correlation.
The opposite of worried isn’t not-worried. It’s happy. That’s what I learned from Bobby’s bubbly ditty and even our goofy rubber fish. So maybe I should stop worrying about worrying and just relax and be happy. Let life happen with the certain knowledge that a loving power greater than all my fears ultimately protects my way. It sounds simple, I know. Too simple. But aren’t the simple resolutions the best ones?
So what are your resolutions for 2013? Do any involve old hit songs or rubber fish? Post below.
