I mailed a letter of complaint yesterday that took four months to write. It wasn’t that I lacked words: I knew the facts, of course, and I knew the wrong that had been done. I certainly knew my feelings about what had happened. Yet to put the letter together in a way that was logically coherent and easily readable took a very long time. That’s really saying something, since writing is what I do for a living.
I stalled writing the letter because of Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” It took a while before I started praying for the people who had harmed my family. That got easier when I remembered that the time to pray was during insomnia-filled nights; it seems the Devil would rather have me sleeping than asking that blessings be showered on someone I don’t like.
Prayer edited out much of my ego and most of the outrage in my letter. But then once I began to forgive, there seemed to be no point in writing.
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That’s where Luke 6:27 was pivotal. “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” Do good. Forgiving my family’s awful experience wasn’t enough; I was supposed to help those who had caused it.
I doubted that a missive on the order of, “Hey guys, I’ve got some great ideas for you, so you can do better next time!” would be helpful. What I had to do was describe what had occurred neutrally, factually, in a way that allowed the reader to enter our nightmare. Only then would it be possible for the recipient to see and accept where change was needed going forward.
Not surprisingly, as I began to write yet another version, I discovered that my heart still wasn’t entirely clean of anger. When, after several more iterations I finally had a solid draft, I handed the letter to my husband. His howls of laughter informed me I still had a couple of snarky remarks to edit out. I made the changes he suggested, let the letter sit for a day, read it again, prayed for wisdom, and finally mailed it.
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Despite my good intentions, I know the initial reaction to my letter is not going to be pleasure. The recipients are almost certainly going to groan at its contents instead of exclaim over how helpful I’ve been. Yet anything that makes us face the truth of our actions–and their consequences–is ultimately for our good. In this case, I hope it leads to change that helps others as well.
