The first time our son was deployed I went to great lengths to keep my emotions in check. I had to, I thought, to survive.
If my feelings swayed too far in one direction, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to reel them back in. It was a lot like to trying to stand on the deck of a storm-tossed ship.
My goal was to be strong. My son was doing this incredible thing, and I wanted to honor his bravery by keeping the home fires burning. I really thought I could go through his deployment like a machine, delaying any strong reactions until after he was home safe.
Read More: Letting God Take Over
On one particular day, the things that breached my barricade were small—a sick dog, a broken appliance, a late appointment. But the pile-up allowed my heart to finally break free.
I think I cried for three straight hours while my husband looked on, unable to help or even really understand what was going on.
But God knew. He’d allowed those little things to keep coming until He broke through. By locking up my heart, I’d locked myself away from Him.
Instead of crying out to God as the emotions came, I stuffed them behind a closed door in my heart. By doing that, I wasn’t being strong. He was the One who could bring me true comfort and peace, and I’d kept Him out.
That was a rough day, but the lessons I learned kept the rest from being so bad. I learned that it’s important—even during deployments—to keep my heart unlocked and wide open for God.
The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17 (NLT)
